Dear Readers,
Aside from politics, few things have fueled uncivil behavior or ‘flame wars‘ in social media as much as spoilers. Recipients of the spoiled movie or TV series are naturally aggrieved by the careless, if not deliberate, the release of plot-important revelations that lessen the enjoyment of the story and reciprocate with bad words and even worse memes.
This deplorable state is squarely the fault of the spoiler-spreaders. Their boorish behavior has been noted and censured before Facebook even existed. Many among you probably still remember when they screamed “Dumbledore dies!” after the release of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. (Or, even earlier, when people came out of the theaters after watching The Empire Strikes Back and told the people in line who Luke’s father really was.)
Now, however, social media has dialed up a leaker’s ability to ruin everyone’s day because all they need is one click to send their message to everyone in their network—meaning an average of 200 people will immediately know the true meaning of, say, “Hold the door!” Jam enough spoiler-revealers into the Facebook echo chamber, and these spoilers have the potential to go viral.
That’s why it’s important to uphold a set of rules to curb spoiler behavior and agree to meet their transgressions with appropriate punishments. Here are our humble suggestions.
If You Know What Happens in a Movie or TV Episode While Others Don’t, Shut Up
Life doesn’t allow people to enjoy a story at the same time as you. Don’t spoil their fun.
Proposed punishment: Defenestration.
Wait a Week Until You Talk About a Story Around People That May Not Know
A week is enough time to catch up. Those that wait for longer are used to spoilers and your behavior.
Proposed punishment: Immolation.
There Is No Statute of Limitations If You’ve Already Read the Book
If you’re a book reader, you may have known about the Red Wedding since August 8, 2000, and other pivotal events earlier than everybody else—but that’s not an excuse to spoil TV watchers. You are, however, permitted to watch and enjoy their unsuspecting reactions.
Proposed punishment: Suffocation.
With these proposed rules, civility can once again reign in Filipino social media and everyone can enjoy their shows in peace.
Do you have any proposed amendments or have a hotline to #Du31 to implement these? Comment below!
